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LiveJournal for Reagan.

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Saturday, December 31st, 2011

Time:4:04 am.
Super cool that when I say "I enrolled in college" all you have to say is "cool" * + a sarcastic thumbs up cuz you're pissed off about your day or whatever*

I'm not your mother. It's not my job to feel sorry for you, It's not my job to deal with your moods while I am going through life changes.

Last I checked, we were adults in a relationship. My bad.
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Time:4:02 am.
Drink less, smoke less, be awesome, own my hottness, get some schoolin, get healthy, understand myself, follow my dreams, follow my bliss.

THOSE are my New Years resolutions.

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Wednesday, September 28th, 2011

Time:1:47 am.
I'm going to die before my time. And soon. Mark my words.
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Sunday, January 2nd, 2011

Time:6:52 pm.
The more I think about our relationship, the more bad memories surface. The more angry I become. You were so MEAN to me. I put up with so much, and attitude and mistreatment were my thanks. You broke/lost/used up my things. You were a near constant source of stress. I wasn't happy with you, because I had to adjust myself to keep you appeased. All the denial that I was unhappy. All the guilt I had because I didn't want to hurt you.

Not that I'm blaming you. I'm really the warped, emotionally stunted selfish dumbass here.
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Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

Subject:I have a crush. 8)
Time:7:40 pm.
[Justin Berenholz]
i hate having to go to bed
oh yeah, going to sleep in a big bed with tons of comfy blankets, awful
[Justin Berenholz]
all alone though
yeah, that is sad
[Justin Berenholz]
oh well i just wont hear your soothing snores tonight
haha shuuuut uuup
whatever your loss my snores are like angels sighing
[Justin Berenholz]
its cute
i'm glad u think its cute.
[Justin Berenholz]
i think everything about you is cute
youre fucking addorable
[Justin Berenholz]
i wont be silenced
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Monday, June 28th, 2010

Time:7:00 am.
Guilt is Good? Greed is Good? Which G?
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Thursday, June 24th, 2010

Time:11:51 pm.
I am a straight girl who is dating, and in love with, a lesbian.

Is this weird? Is this wrong? Cuz I'm pretty sure, it's awesome. From where I'm standing.

Do I only feel straight because of the restraints put on us all by society?

I feel emotionally and romantically connected to women, but I have that craving for men physically that most lesbians seem to lack. I have always previously believed in the Kinsey scale, but as I've matured, I've come to believe there is a difference between gay and straight people. I believe straight people have developed a physiological response to the opposite sex that most gay people have not, for one reason or another. And I have that physiological response. And yet, I am in love with a woman.

I used to say, it doesn't have to be this complicated, just go with the flow.

But now I realize that things this complex simply do not flow.

So....what the hell?
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Thursday, May 13th, 2010

Time:5:55 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
I've been thinking a lot about her, why I made the decision to end it, and what is really going on inside my head.

Sometimes I get the impulse to call her and tell her that I made a mistake, she's right, I gave up too easy, let's give it one more try.

But I can't. I can't do that. She's just beginning to recover from the shock, and I can't pull that on her. And I still feel like I made the right choice...I was having doubts. I was. That is one thing that I am sure of.

But is she right? Did I give up too easy? Could I have made it work if I had just tried harder, for longer? Or am I just suffering from a classic case of post-break-up second guessing?

Healthy relationships should be easy. You should be with someone that's easy for you to love. That's something I believe. But what if I love her anyway, even though it's not easy?

It was already running me ragged, I was already withdrawing, even though we had only been together for four months. That was my cue to end things.


I miss you.
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Time:5:34 pm.
I spoke to her again on the phone today. When she says "bye" like that it's like a smack across my face.
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Monday, May 10th, 2010

Time:5:16 am.
It's been a couple of days. I'm starting to feel better. I know I did the right thing.

I wish things could have been different.

I don't know what's wrong with me.
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Sunday, May 9th, 2010

Time:2:40 am.
If you love something, set it free; if it comes back, it's meant to be.
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Sunday, January 3rd, 2010

Subject:Really wanna call him.
Time:4:53 am.
If I have to never talk to him again to prove that I care about him, then THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO.

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Thursday, December 31st, 2009

Time:4:54 am.
Mood: drunk..
He deleted me from all his shit, and I'm pretty fucking pissed off about it.
Toooooooo bad.
It's best.
I know.

wow, is that all i have to say?


This is the best thing for both of us. the absolute best thing for both of us.

I'm angry.

I'm hurt that he would delete me.

Relieved, also?

Feeling empty? and abandoned?

I deserve it.

When i see that he deleted me, I want to scream and cry and call him and leave him nasty comments and...I just can't believe it.

I can't believe he's out of my life now.

It's best. It's best for the both of us.

These feelings of rejection are mostly impulses...lizard-brain reactions...yes

He's better off now.

I'm happy for him.

I can't BELIEVE it.


New Years tomorrow...thank God
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Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

Time:12:49 am.
Self-indulgent, adolescent, vicarious self-expression aside...Collapse )

life's going by fast..!!!Collapse )

Anyway. Yeah. Ugh. Gross.
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Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

Subject:Casey's New Video
Time:12:13 am.

I'm in it! For almost ten seconds total! Woo
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Sunday, October 5th, 2008

Time:2:49 am.
I love Lance Henriksen.
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Monday, July 28th, 2008

Time:12:50 am.
I think I have this:

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Monday, July 14th, 2008

Time:12:28 am.
Lindsay Lohan is sooo gay.
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Friday, July 11th, 2008

Time:5:14 pm.
Have you guys seen that movie Georgia Rule?

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Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

Time:12:41 pm.
Also cool
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LiveJournal for Reagan.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.